um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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