Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
