Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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