I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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