I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
