We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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