I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
