K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize