I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
