i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
