Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
