Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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