I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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