"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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