I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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