You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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