so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
