maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
