btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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