Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
