Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
