I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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