i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
