Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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