I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
