The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
