what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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