we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
