bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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