I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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