I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
