that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
