i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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