I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize