You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
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