I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
so let's talk penis.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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