You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
