You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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