Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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