I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
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