I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
