If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
