I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
