Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
