i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I have aggressive nipples.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize