you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
