I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize