I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
