Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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