I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
