you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
