She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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