I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
worst night to have a conscience
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
