yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
