The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
