So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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