That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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