Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
