Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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