if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
