you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
