Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
