i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
