you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The power of my boobs compel you
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
