I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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