He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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